The name's Jesus, Jesus Christ

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PA: Productions Assistant/Runner (ie. Dogs Body)
AD: Assistant Director
UPM: Unit Production Manager
DP: Director Of Photography

How many PA's does it take to change a light bulb?
Nine........one to do it and eight others to wish they'd been asked.

How many PA' does it take to change a light bulb?
What's a light bulb?

How many Development Executives does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.

How many Development Executives does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

How many 2nd AD's does it take to change a light bulb?
Uh...standby, I'll check on that.

How many UPM's does it take to change a light bulb?
None! If you'd just make it a day exterior we wouldn't be screwing around with all these damn light bulbs!"

and lastly...

What's the difference between God and a DP?
God doesn't think he's a DP.

JC: Son of God