Coffee black and egg white

Today i went to Kent to shoot an event organized by Medway Council and their respective sub divisions. There was football, food and a stage in which youth performed their talents. There was some good stuff and not so good stuff. There was a set by a pair of beat boxers who were very good. But who impressed me the most was a young woman called Rose. She did covers of Alanis Morrisette, Norah Jones, Counting Crows, The Beatles and also a track written by herself. Her voice although not fully formed has great potential. I don't know how I can tell but first there's the clarity of her voice and then the indentations of melody and tone. I spoke to her after as I am interested in helping her out, perhaps to record a demo and to do a music video. I had never heard the track Colour Blind by Counting Crows but she did a beautiful rendition. She has the potential to be a major singer songwriter.

Yesterday at the screening 1 out of 30 people i invited turned up. And the person who did turn up was someone i don't really know that well. The turnout was good though. I got kind of stuck listening to the director's (Rob) old DP who is about the same age. For some reason he felt obliged to depart information and advice about how to 'get on the ladder'. He talked almost incessantly with me barely saying anything. He was helpful though which i appreciated. Though i wasn't particualarly interested in a lot of what he had to say. The screening went down well despite the projection being very saturated and the wrong aspect ratio. I even got to say something at the Q&A after. Funnily enough, the other film was directed by a guy who i met 2 years ago when i went to his house to buy some old film stock from.

More than anything, I find it unfortunate that despite me saying in the invite for the screening that indie film makers get little support, a large majority of people who i did invite simply didn't RSVP. It is a simple email of courtesy in reply to an invatation. I don't mind if people can't come, to simply not reply is simple rude. Despite having a good time and the film being well received, it has no reflection upon the lack of courtesy shown from those invited.

In my last entry I wrote of living in London and the monotomy. This monotomy is largely the monotomy of 'expectating' so little from people that the bar of manners and humanity is set so low I can't bare to look at it any more. It reveals that the giving of insight, kindness and warmth is a rare and special occurance.

- J

Amorphous and Alien

I read somewhere that we cannot regret as for what we chose we were meant to and who we are is who we were meant to be; we could not have made another choice. I believe this.

Recently I have become a little bored. I think of some people who have 9- 5 jobs and go home and watch soaps and big brother. Every month I get to shoot a little film. I have seen many places on the planet. I have few financial responisbilities and I am single. I find myself wanting so much to be anywhere else but in London. It is not that I don't like London, it is that boredom of going to pubs or restaurants or even a walk along the Thames. It something one knows like how one knows exitement. I meet new people every month yet I am more interested in meeting my old friends and moreover, people in other countries when they are in that country. Most of the people I meet are from other countries but they live in London. I am tired with the tabloid headlines, the insistence of making one toddler kidnapping an epic saga pushing back the massive flooding in China as a footnote along with other major news. I have met some cool people this year. And i don't mean like 'Fonze' cool, I mean interesting and decent. In this society, you can meet many untrustworthy and angry people. I have been lucky enough to encounter a majority of the other. Yet even this is not enough to satisfy my curiosity for truley new people and situations.

I met someone yesterday. A Chinese woman. She was speaking to me for a few minutes. She said I should not stay in this country and I should broaden my horizons and see more. I quietly mentioned I had been a few places though not mentioning the North America, Southern Europe, India, Palestine, Beijing, Tokyo and Hong Kong and Vancouver. I said that I think I was older than her. She said no way. It transpired that she was born in 1981. I think she thought she was speaking to a 22 year old because of my quietness and youthful look.

A few days ago I said to a Theatre Group i would help them out along with other camera operators on their Asylum Monologues as part of Refugee Week. It is not a paid gig. I thought it was shooting the actual monolgues from acrtors on stage. I got sent the instruction draft yesterday and i read it today (the gig is today) and it involves mostly interviews with the audience and actors and one is supposed to have an assistant. I wasn't aware of all this and wouldn't have agreed to do it. So I pulled out last minute, which i never have done. I wanted to go to a photographic opening from a friend of mine which i originally had planned. I don't want to shoot talking heads; the audience and how what their reaction to the monologues were. I have shot monolgues from actual asylum seekers, i wouldn't find any interest in people reactions to actors speaking the stories of asylum seekers. There's 3 hrs of my life i wasn't getting back. I know it's for a good cause but still. I can think of fewer things more boring to shoot. I probably will dissapoint people who have never even met me but can't please everyone. I am shooting something on Saturday for Medway Council again for a youth event organised as part of Refugee Week.


I can't really explain every facet about what I find oddly monotonous about this discourse despite a different job every month and new people to meet but I do feel the often superficial plateau we live within this city. I endeavour to find meaning in the spaces. I believe this to be a good discourse.



- J

Syrianna

About 3 and a half years ago I applied for a feature. I got to shoot that. Sarah Strachen was an actress in it. Over a year later she recoommended me onto another feature. I got to shoot that too. Through that I met Robert Cranbinus who was an actor on it. I didn't really speak to him proper for about a year and a half. I shot The Good Muslim recently which he directed. The Production Mananger on that was Audrey Destandau. I didn't really get to speak to her until after the shoot. She is currently producing a documentary about Iraqi women sold to prostitution to work in Syria. They have a female cameraperson in mind but I want to do this project. I have recieved information and work they have planned to shoot soon and the BBC may commission it. She asked me if I would go to Syria and I said yes straight away. I don't have an issue with it. Not yet and I don't think I will.

At the moment I am a technical adviser for the doc. I hope I am offered to shoot it. I cannot think of a better spent time to spend my summer, or any time of year or, any time in my life. Because what one is doing is, documenting an important issue and more importantly, a part of their lives.

With Hamas taking control of the Gaza Strip now, the shift of power in the region has been said can be the start of something more grand involving now Syria. I feel it ever more important to bring forth the issues in daily peoples lives as the Geo- Political issues are already reported upon in the corporate media.

If I do one more job this year, this is the one I want to do.

- J

A Waltz

May 1998, Vancouver. Ages, 22, 23.

Dec 2006. London. Ages 30, 31.

I met with an artist prepping a 'art' short. I am 'helping out' with the lighting. It was nice to meet and talk. I was recommended by a mutual acquaintance. I would not have agreed to light it otherwise. Then I went to JDC to hand over some money. I ended up talking at length with Alex who works there. He's always been very nice and despite seeing him for months, I never had chatted to him until now. He wants to camera assist and shoot films. But he has a pregnant girlfriend and he actually has a second job at Tescos as well as working at JDC full time. He said he envied what I did. I told him it wasn't that great freelance struggling and a few years ago, I would have killed to get his position to learn cameras at JDC. He met the girl of his dreams so...

In the evening I spent an hour and a half deciding on DVD's I was to buy my dad for father's day. I ad picked up two for myself, The End Of The Affair and Days of Heaven. One of which made me want to make films and the other with a personal resonance. In the end I got Before Sunrise and Before Sunset instead. I had watched Before Sunset when it was out a few years ago and I thought it so well done. This film also had personal resonance. About two people who meet after 9 years after having shared a short lived romance. It hadn't occured to me despite how relevant it seemed that I met my ex girlfriend proper after 8 years. That was last summer. I watched it and it made me cry. As I become a far less verbose person now, I will have to quote from the heart and mind of her, these following words came from. Part of an email that I recieved. If she is reading this, forgive me that I am sharing your beautiful and heart rendering words that you have said:

"When you walked through the gallery door, I felt exactly the way I
did when I first heard you speak in class all those years ago. I saw
someone that I wanted to know, in whatever way I could know them. I
felt sorrow for all the lost time, however necessary a seperation may
have been for us to heal and develop as people."



As alone as one can feel, one is lucky enough to have the memory of once feeling not so alone. Connection and happiness is often fleeting yet, continuous in our discourse.

In Shadowlands, Anthony Hopkin's charater says, "we read to feel we are not alone".

I would say the same about films. Which is why I chose, to be part of making them.

"You were for me that night, everything I've always dreamt of in life, but now you're gone...

...But you were much more to me just so you know, I don't care what they say, I know what you meant for me that day, I just want another try , I just want another night, Even if it doesn't seem quite right, you meant for me much more that anyone I've met before... One single night with little... Jessie... Is worth a thousand with anybody, I have no bitterness my sweet, I'll never forget this one night thing, even tomorrow in other arms, my heart will stay yours until I die, let me sing you a waltz..."

Julie Deply in Before Sunset.

I haven't met 'the girl of my dreams'. And if I did, I think working at JDC and Tescos wasn't too bad. Instead of shooting realities for other people and not quite having a satisfactory one yourself. The grass isn't greener, its just different.


- J

31st year

Nic. Ichat. Chloe. Mountview College of Theatre Arts. Megnaa. Holland. Palestine. Warren. Stephan. Roz. Beijing. Dong Hong. Qui Yue. Hong Kong. Beatrice. Kent- Medway Council. Asylum seekers. Aylesbury Composite. Hu. Lucky Soul. Newcastle- Florid. Bucharest. Constanta. Cernavoda. Teenagers with HIV. Thoughts of Yesterday. Azahara. Anton. The Concretes. Mandarin. Norwich- Gone Far Away. Nic. Dear. Birthday. Dear. The Good Muslim. Tom. Reconcilliation.

- J

The Chronology of Dance

In the midst of shooting The Good Muslim I was contacted by a guy who wanted to do a short film. I was recommended by Robert, the director of the film I was doing at the time. He sent me the script and it was an interesting read. Not written like a scipt, more like a novel. At 2 pages, which in screenplay time is 2 minutes, it actualy should run at 10 minutes. The job was paid and it was shooting on Super16. This was a script to shoot. I met Tom (the writer/director) soon afterwards. He had a previous DP who he couldn't really lock down and I really wanted to shoot it. After talking, it was evident we both were well versed in each others cinematic vision or rather, anti cinematic vision. We both love Michael Haneke and particualrly Code Unknown. The style of the film, we are making is more like 71 Fragments of a Chronolgy of Chance, which I had to watch as homework. We have met a few times to discuss the shots in between sorting out the crew and equipment hire. It's been a real joy to do the shotlist for this film because we both share and converse ideas, intellectual/emotional ideas about why the shot should be more this or that. Also the fact that we have no establishing shots, no over the shoulders, no pans, tilts or tracks. It's all static. All shots are deliberate in it's framing frame size, composition and depth of field. This is the kind of shotlist I always wanted to talk about. Precision. An economical shoot of essentials. Tom is great as he really listens to what i have to say and it's a great thing where we are on the same wave length about what we want to see in relation to the tone of the film. He has also directed theatre. It's great to be working with someone finally who seems to have a good balance of good film making and the understanding and the clarity to do it. It's like working with Haneke on a small scale.

On another note, I recieved my second letter/email from Wizzo, an agent. They said they could not represent me because I would need to have 2-3 recognizable peices of work until they could consider me.

It was nice they took time to write back. I was going to reply saying that both The Concretes and Professor Green were both recogizable talents on the music scene but it's unfortunate they don't know them. Instead, I wrote a diplomatic email back.

I didn't expect to get rep'd by them. They have only about 20 DP's and they have all done pretty big stuff.

It made me think though, that it didn't seem so much about the quality of work as so much as anything I have done is not 'commercial', something that clients want. Which i understand. It makes it interesting considering I am currently enjoying the pre production putting an intellectually engaging shotlist together and then someone saying to me I haven't got a britpop band video on my reel so they won't consider me. No, I just 2 of some of the most interesting looking music videos to have been made this year.

I think both Wizzo and Prince Stone can see the potential of my work, they just know they cannot put me up to a client and say, "he can do that because look this". Most of my work is pretty specific looking and not commercial thus you can't put it up to a client because they will say, "but what have they done? I haven't heard of them". They won't say, "that looks fuckin amazing! Who's that guy??". Forgeddaboudit.

Anyway, I will keep chugging along and hope that I can continue to work with the likes of David Mullet and Tom Nerling (if he continues to make films) and hope to get another break. It has taken 4/5 years to start shooting stuff worth it's weight and it's nice. One single project can mean a fair amount to ones body of work.

- J

postdata. Daniel Levi who directed 2 of The Concretes music videos (which i think are great) had said to David Mullet, "Who shot that??" when he saw the video we did for Lucky Soul.

The name's Jesus, Jesus Christ

More now...

PA: Productions Assistant/Runner (ie. Dogs Body)
AD: Assistant Director
UPM: Unit Production Manager
DP: Director Of Photography

How many PA's does it take to change a light bulb?
Nine........one to do it and eight others to wish they'd been asked.

How many PA' does it take to change a light bulb?
What's a light bulb?

How many Development Executives does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.

How many Development Executives does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

How many 2nd AD's does it take to change a light bulb?
Uh...standby, I'll check on that.

How many UPM's does it take to change a light bulb?
None! If you'd just make it a day exterior we wouldn't be screwing around with all these damn light bulbs!"

and lastly...

What's the difference between God and a DP?
God doesn't think he's a DP.

JC: Son of God

Put it on a dimmer...

How many screenwriters does it take to change a light bulb?
None.
They'll say, 'don't change it, it's perfect'.

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A Hundred.
One to change it and the other 99 who'll say, 'I could have done that better'.

How many grips does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.

How many Lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?
Two.
One to change it and one to make a documentary out of it.

How many art directors does it take to change a light bulb
Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?
If we change the light bulb, we'll have to change everything.

How many Stuntmen does it take to changea light bulb?
Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

How many Camera Assistants does it take to change a light bulb?
Five: One to do it and four to tell you how they did it on the last job.

How many DP's does it take to change a light bulb?
One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

more later...

J

The Day Before Yesterday

A film called Flyboys opened in England 2 days ago. It's directed by Tony Bill and produced by Dean Devlin. It is based on a true story set during World War One. I knew much of this because I have a good friend who worked as Dean's assistant and also shot the EPK (behind the scenes) for Flyboys. It was shot 2 years ago. It didn't do well in the US. It cost $60 million and the money didn't come from a Hollywood Studio. In that way, it seems the most expensive independent film ever made. Dean Devlin had come over from LA and was doing the promotion for it. He was at an airshow in the afternoon and then was going to join us for dinner. I was chatting to a new friend Amber who i had previously met about 9 months ago while queuing outside Busaba Earthai. Dean Devlin also produced Stargate, Independence Day and Godzilla. He was now waiting to get into a restaurant on Wardour Steet with the rest of us. Me and Amber agreed that waiting to get into a restaurant was stupid, no matter who you were. I remained quiet at dinner although I did have a brief chat with Dean about new HD (High Definition) formats. I was slating the HDV format while he was advocating it which I thought was very strange. After dinner we went back around the corner where Dean said bye to everyone. One thing was on my mind and I was going to say it no matter how trite it might have sounded. So when he shook my hand I said,

"It was a pleasure meeting you and I wanted to thank you for making The Day After Tomorrow..."

"I didn't make that, Roland did..."

"Oh... oh, I'm so sorry...how embarrassing..."

I could see Amber wide eyed and gobsmacked. If I was trying to get a job from this man (which I am not in a position to and probably have no relation to him other than having a mutual friend) I had probably just blown it. You don't do things like this in this indusrty. People are touchy. I'm not sure what Dean was. We were laughing about it afterwards and I did feel a bit silly yet somehow bold in an accidental way. I had heard a lot about Dean for about 2 years until I met him. I rarely said anything to him throughout dinner and when I did, I got my facts wrong... and unitentionally may have irked, a massive Hollywood Producer.

"Priceless...", Amber said. Well, at least he'll remember who I am when I go to LA and take him up on his offer to stay in his house. I'm sure that's what he said....


- J

postdata. Roland Emmerich had worked together with Dean Devlin for many years, both as writing and producing partners before The Day After Tomorrow. Their latest offering 'Isobar' is currently in production. The accuracy of this information may be unreliable...