I shoot, you shoot

This morning I got call from a friend to forward me a job I might get called for. I don't know the specifics but it was 10 days in Afghanistan with a UN convoy. From next Tuesday, in 5 days time. I wanted to go. I waited for the call. But it didn't come. I got called for another job, a not so well paid and not as great for the same days. I asked my middle man friend to find out where this job went. She got back and said it went. Oh well. I texted her back and wrote, 'I will have to find another way to get shot at'.

I realize that actually being shot at and actually being peirced with a pointed, hot metal cylinder travelling at high velocity is neither funny or pleasant. In fact, it's plain gruesome. My 'joke' has more to do with that it seems to reveal an urge or need in myself to be in an environment that isn't very safe. Living in Turnpike Lane doesn't seem enough. Perhaps it isn't just that. It's the wild environment of some lands. Lands, places that don't have more basic needs than watching big brother or which sunglasses look good on me. Places where survival is a concern.

I've never been to Afghanistan, but I would like go. Unfortunately, it won't be next week. Not that I would have been hired to shoot anything that was in a war zone, I'm not experienced enough. Instead, I will be shooting a short for a local musical theatre college I worked with last year. I have patience, there will be other oppotunities. I felt alive, more than ever when I did that project in Palestine last year. That is why.

"The only dream worth having is to live while you are alive, and die, only when you are dead..."

Arundhati Roy

- J