confessions of a profession

A few months ago I went to an event at The Photographers Gallery regarding medium format digital backs. One of the people giving the talk ask how many of us were photographers. Half the audience put their hands up. He then asked, ‘put it another way, how many people make money doing it?, and subsequently a few people put their hands down.

I started shooting stills in my early teens and have never really stopped. I started making some money out of it while still at college. I started shooting films in my teens and only started making money from it 2 years ago. I shot everything anybody allowed me to shoot, paid or unpaid. One day I was doing it for free and the next I was doing it for money. But it’s when I started being paid to light properly that I felt that I was what I aimed to be, a professional Cinematographer or ‘Director Of Photography’. And I take none of it for granted. I have found myself on shoots, such as the 35mm music video I shot in the summer. We had a jib (a small crane) with operator and a Steadicam Operator. I had 2 professional assistants. All I did was direct photography and take light readings to tell the focus puller. I didn’t even touch the camera. 3 years ago I was taking orders as a waiter and now I was managing a shoot that cost around £5000. All the many small and no paid jobs and the experience that I had aquire throught the years had paid off. And I am still learning so much on each shoot about lighting and camera equipment. Because the bigger the shoots, the more access you have to equipment you’ve never used and it’s great to try these things that you could never hire before. In the position of management, I still find it interesting that directors listen intently about what you have to say about the photography. Getting paid for knowledge and the ability to manage is still something new to me. The intent to produce something good is always there but there is something that comes with it when you are getting paid for it. I’m not exactly sure what that ‘thing’ is but it’s certainly present.

I used to kill to do a 35mm,16mm or HD piece or work and now I get asked to shoot them. It’s all a bit strange. I have to admit it’s really nice to get asked and then on top get paid to do it after the years of doing it for free, you feel, have paid off. Granted I’m not a ‘successful’ cinematographer but I make enough for now. I would feel it wrong if I ever took it for granted that I can do this job professionally and well. I have done some pretty low paid work in my time so I know what it’s like to work for minimum wage when you feel you can do so much better not just in terms of job/wage value but in ability and what you can to do. I swear though that being a waiter was far harder in terms of time management and stress than this. Time management is in seconds for waiters and mostly in minutes as a DOP.

We all have to make a living, no matter what we do for a living. And I used to worry about getting older and not making any money doing what I concentrated on for years. Now I am more relaxed about it and still have the rest of my life to grow in this profession. Perhaps it is the illusion or reality that when someone is going to put their money where their mouth is based on what you have done before, then it seems worth something and of quality. Value is in the eye of the beholder. My peers who I have worked with before becoming ‘professional’ know that I was professional in attitude prior to the formal title. And I believe if we are in attitude and thought, we eventually make that formal transition far more easily. I regard professionalism in any line of work to be foremost to doing your job well and to the progression of that job.

On a last note yet important. I sought to become ‘professional’ partly to prove to my parents, especially my dad who didn’t see the future as I saw hoped it would be, that I would eventually get paid to make the transition from ‘hobby’ to ‘profession’. That I made the first grade calmed his frustrations and mine.

It doesn’t matter if you put your hand up or not, as long as you are reaching out in your mind.

- J