Choose thyself

It was always there though not as present as it is now. After going to Beijing I felt and increasingly so, that I do not know my own language, that I cannot communicate in words with the people of my blood lines, of history and of the future. Mandarin though, is not my language, English, is. I have become increasingly aware that something is missing from my being, and that is to learn Mandarin. And to do this, and to do it well, I have decided to go to Beijing for 6 months. This is a departure for me as I have made my base in London and to concentrate on my career as a cinematographer and now, I will be taking a break to learn a language that has little to no relevance to the progression of my career, my work. But we should do things in our lives to enrich it and these things will probably have little to do with either work, friends or family. It just comes from a need to learn and understand. I am also taking another departure and this does have absolute relevance to work.

Going to Palestine had an effect on me I did not expect yet welcome. I have also done a project recently concerning asylum seekers in the UK. In months to come I will be trying to collate enough good photographs for a exhibition to raise awareness for the work PCRF are doing. In addition, I may be in discussion to do a documentary about Asylum seekers in the UK with Medway Racial Equality Council. In January I may go to visit Romania and see what the situation is where my friend Warren is doing some work there as a nurse in a small town. We have been talking of Participatory Video work with marginalized people in society. I have more of an interest in working with young people. This may also be a project in Palestine too. It is early days.

I have been shooting mostly fiction up till now. I have always felt the work to be of small consequence though ironically, I have carried out the discourse of the work with extreme importance and due diligence. Though fun and artistically enriching, for myself, there is something missing, something lacking in real meaning or truth. Of poetry and laughter and the ability to see life in a different way, these are the things that drew and continue to draw me, to shoot fiction.

In this current ongoing flow of decisions, I believe I will be concentrating on both fiction and if time and funds allow, devoting time to invest in projects that have meaning to people who are oppressed, marginalized and who live in poverty. This is the reality some people are forced to live in, I have the luxury to choose mine. Your freedom to choose may be the most endearing and empowering discourse one possesses as a human being.

- J